When Trying Harder Stops Working

When Trying Harder Stops Working

Two Generations, What Weight Resistance Is Really Telling Us

For a long time, I believed that if something wasn’t working, the answer was simple: try harder. Be more disciplined. Tighten things up. Push through. That mindset had carried me through many seasons of life, so when my body stopped responding the way it used to, I assumed the problem had to be me.

Over the past five years especially, I tried many approaches that were supposed to “fix” things. Some worked briefly. Most didn’t. And each time something failed, the frustration deepened. Not just disappointment but a quiet erosion of trust in my own body. I wasn’t giving up, but I was fighting a battle that felt increasingly unwinnable.

What I didn’t understand then was that effort itself can become part of the problem.

Every new plan, every adjustment, every attempt to out-discipline what was happening inside me added another layer of stress. Instead of helping my body respond, I was unknowingly revving my nervous system higher and then blaming myself when the results didn’t come.

At some point, the question shifted.

Not “Why isn’t this working?”
But “What if my body isn’t failing, what if it’s communicating?”

Around the same time, I began noticing similar patterns in my daughter, Cristina. She’s 37, in a very different season of life, yet navigating her own set of stressors, hormonal shifts, and physical signals that don’t always respond to effort alone. Watching her struggle in familiar ways brought something into sharper focus for me.

This wasn’t about age.
It wasn’t about motivation.
And it certainly wasn’t about willpower.

It was about a body that had been adapting quietly for years carrying stress, adjusting internally, and eventually reaching a point where pushing harder simply stopped working.

That realization didn’t come with instant relief. Letting go of force meant letting go of a story I had told myself for a long time that success came from overriding signals instead of listening to them.

But it opened a door.

If resistance wasn’t a personal failure, then maybe the path forward wasn’t more pressure…
Maybe it was a different relationship with how the body actually works.

What Weight Resistance Is Really Telling Us

Weight resistance is often misunderstood. It’s usually framed as a lack of discipline or consistency as if the body simply needs firmer direction. But when effort stops producing results, that explanation no longer holds.

Resistance isn’t rebellion.
It’s feedback.

The body adapts quietly for a long time. It adjusts to stress, emotional load, disrupted sleep, hormonal shifts, and years of being asked to do more with less support. It compensates. It copes. And it keeps going until it can’t respond the same way anymore.

When that happens, weight often becomes one of the first visible signals.

Not because weight is the problem, but because it’s connected to everything else metabolism, appetite regulation, gut-brain signaling, and the nervous system’s sense of safety. When the system is overloaded, the body shifts into protection mode. And once it does, pushing harder often creates the opposite of the intended result.

This is where so many people get stuck.

They’re doing the things they’ve always been told should work. They’re moving, watching what they eat, trying to stay consistent and yet their body feels unresponsive. Frustration rises. Self-trust erodes.

But what if the body isn’t being stubborn?

What if it’s doing exactly what it was designed to do to protect itself under long-term stress?

Two Generations, One Shared Realization

Cristina and I are standing in very different places on the timeline of life. She’s navigating the early shifts that come with long-term stress and hormonal changes. I’m carrying decades of lived experience, resilience, caregiving, and seasons that required me to stay strong even when my body was quietly absorbing the cost.

On the surface, our experiences don’t look the same.
But underneath, the signals are familiar.

What struck me most wasn’t that we were both facing challenges, it was how they were showing up. The same frustration. The same confusion. The same quiet question beneath the effort: Why isn’t this working the way it used to?

For years, I believed certain struggles belonged to certain ages. But watching my daughter move through her own version of weight resistance made something unmistakably clear.

This isn’t about age.
It’s about load.

The body doesn’t wait for a milestone birthday to respond to pressure. It responds to accumulation. And when that load reaches a certain point, the body begins speaking in ways that are harder to ignore.

We’re not doing this together because our journeys are identical. We’re doing it together because understanding sooner matters. Because listening earlier changes the trajectory. Because choosing a calmer, more informed approach now can alter what the next decade looks like physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Why Force Stops Working

Force works until it doesn’t.

Earlier in life, pushing harder often produces results. The body is more adaptable. Recovery is quicker. Stress hasn’t yet accumulated to the point where it interferes with regulation.

But over time, the rules change.

When the nervous system is overloaded, the body shifts into protection mode. Metabolism becomes cautious. Appetite signals distort. Energy is conserved rather than spent. This isn’t the body being difficult, it's the body being smart.

Force-based strategies don’t account for that shift.

Restricting more or pushing harder may look productive, but internally it often increases stress load. And when stress rises, the body closes down rather than opening up.

The body can’t be pressured into safety.

Without regulation without addressing stress response and nervous system signaling force becomes counterproductive. It asks an overwhelmed system to do more with less.

Understanding this changes the strategy entirely.

Choosing a Different Relationship With the Body

Once force is taken off the table, something unexpected happens.

The body doesn’t collapse.
It doesn’t give up.
It begins to exhale.

For me, this shift came from recognizing that my relationship with my body had been built on expectation rather than understanding. Choosing differently meant changing the order of things.

Regulation before restriction.
Curiosity before pressure.
Listening before overriding.

This approach doesn’t remove responsibility, it reframes it. Responsibility becomes awareness rather than control. Creating conditions where the body can respond, rather than demanding that it does.

An Open Beginning

This isn’t a story about results at least not yet.

It’s a story about awareness. About recognizing that when the body stops responding, it isn’t failing, it's asking for a different kind of care.

For Cristina and me, this moment marks a beginning, not a declaration. Two generations choosing curiosity over criticism. Information over pressure. Understanding over force.

Weight resistance isn’t a reason to push harder.
It’s an invitation to understand more deeply.

And sometimes, understanding is the most powerful place to begin.

A Gentle Invitation

If this conversation resonated with you, if you've felt that quiet frustration of trying harder without results you don’t have to carry that alone.

This article isn’t meant to give answers to everyone. It’s meant to open a conversation.

If you’d like to talk, ask a question, or simply share what this brought up for you, feel free to reach out. You can message me directly on Facebook or Instagram. I read my messages personally, and I’m always open to thoughtful, honest conversation.

Sometimes the most important step isn’t changing anything
it’s being heard.

In support,

Claudette Paulin Eames 🌻

Entrepreneur, Mentor & Certified Mental Wellness Coach

Supporting the mature-age community to rebuild calm & strength one gentle step at a time.