Who Changed You for Good?
Who Changed You for Good?
There’s a song in the musical Wicked called “For Good” that has become a quiet anchor for me. It suggests that people come into our lives and change us, and because we have known them, we have been changed for good. It’s a beautiful idea, but I’ve come to believe it’s not just about the people we love limitlessly, the ones who feel like safe havens. It’s also about the ones who represent the hard places, the lessons, and the chapters we had to close.
Every person who crosses our path leaves a mark. Some are lessons in what we will not repeat. Others are invitations to grow. And some, if we are very lucky, become the pillars who support us as we become who we were meant to be. When I look back at the gallery of people who have shaped my life, I see this truth in every face. Each one changed me, permanently, for good.
My dad was an angel, my absolute safe haven. He was a patient, kind, and incredibly hard worker, and while his schedule meant our time was limited, his presence was a steady, quiet force. In his later years, I had the blessing of working with him, and in that space, I learned about a different kind of strength, not the loud, demanding kind, but the gentle, consistent strength of a good man.
My relationship with my mother was more complicated; it was a hard place, shaped by demands and expectations that left a mark. What I can tell you is that even before Jesse and I were married, when I was just 19 years old, I made a conscious decision. I told Jesse I needed his support because I did not want that dynamic in our home. I did not want it to become a barrier between us, and I did not want to burden my children with it. That decision was one of the most important ones I ever made.
But the full release is the true letting go that only happened just recently, barely four weeks ago. I was on a Zoom call with my Forbes Riley community, and Forbes Riley herself walked me through a breakthrough. I was the one called up front, and what happened in that space was life-changing. Here I am, in my 63rd year of life, and I finally let it go. Completely. My mother, too, changed me for good. She gave me the clarity to build something different, and now, after that breakthrough, I carry that clarity without the weight.
And then there was my late husband, Jesse. He was the one who gave me permission to keep growing. In a world where I often felt like I couldn't learn or measure up, he supported me, believed in me, and gave me the space to become stronger. That kind of love is not just a feeling; it is a foundation. It is the kind of thing that stays with you long after the person is gone, because it lives in how you carry yourself forward. Jesse's belief in me became my belief in myself, and that is one of the most powerful gifts one person can give another.
My children continued that legacy, giving me the drive to become more educated and to trust that I could, in fact, learn. I always thought I couldn't, but they, along with a handful of clients who saw something in me I hadn't yet seen in myself, became instrumental in my growth. They could see past my vocabulary to the heart of what I was trying to do, and their belief was a powerful mirror. I ran a business, dealt with clients, navigated the complexity of real work in the real world, and in doing so, I discovered that I was far more capable than the story I had been telling myself.
Even the relationships I had after Jesse passed were part of this journey. They were important pieces in my growth and my path. It doesn’t matter where they ended up or how they ended; they were still vital parts of my story, each one teaching me something about resilience, about what I wanted, and about my own capacity to stand on my own two feet. That’s an important piece of the puzzle, understanding that growth continues, even from goodbyes.
Now, at 62, I find myself in a new circle of "for goods." It's in the community I've built through Zoom calls and conventions, with people decades younger than me who have become pillars in my life. Age has nothing to do with the value of a connection. I reach out to these people because I want to grow, and they show up in ways that continue to shape me. It's in the Rotary meetings and the training communities where I am constantly listening to stories and watching how others are elevating themselves. My word for the year is "elevate," and I see it happening everywhere I look. I am meeting these people for a reason, and the strength I get from their journeys is immeasurable.
There is something profound about being in a season of life where you are no longer waiting for permission to grow. I am simply open, and because I am open, the right people keep showing up. That is the gift of the "for good" philosophy. It is not passive. It is an active choice to look at every relationship, every encounter, and every goodbye as something that was meant to shape you. This library of people continues to grow my daughter, my grandson, and conversations about everything from YouTube to life lessons. Every interaction is a thread in the fabric of who I am becoming.
The people who have shaped us are not just figures in our past; they are living legacies within us. They are the lessons, the love, the strength, and the reasons we keep going.
So here is the question I want to leave with you: When you look at the gallery of people who have crossed your path, can you find the gift in each one? Not just the easy ones, the safe havens and the cheerleaders, but the hard ones too? The ones who pushed you to your limits, who showed you what you would not accept, who left before you were ready? They changed you. They are in you. And because you knew them, you are not the same person you were before.
Every person who has walked through your life has walked you closer to who you are meant to be. You are not diminished by what you have lost. You are built by it.
You have been changed, permanently, for good.
If this resonated with you…
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In support,
Claudette Paulin Eames 🌿
Entrepreneur, Mentor & Certified Mental Wellness Coach
Supporting the mature-age community to rebuild calm & strength one gentle step at a time.
