Widow to Wellness: The Gift of Resilience

When Jesse passed, I thought the hardest part would be the grief. And in many ways, it was. But what I didn’t understand at the time was how much of myself I had yet to meet.

I met Jesse at 18, married him at 19, and we spent 26 beautiful years together. We were a couple for 27 years, from the very beginning until the very end. So when that season closed, I didn’t just lose a husband, I lost the version of me that only ever existed as part of a “we.”

What I didn’t realize was how much resilience it takes to learn who you are when the “we” is gone.

Moving Quickly, Without Breathing

Not everyone’s story looks like mine, but here’s the truth of mine: I didn’t take time to sit with the silence. I didn’t take time to feel what it meant to be alone.

Instead, I moved quickly into another relationship. At the time, it felt like I needed someone familiar, someone to soften the edges of loss. And there’s no shame in that. We each find our way the best we can.

Looking back now, I can see that what I skipped was the chance to simply be with myself. That relationship ended, and it ended fully, without lingering ties. Life moved on.

And then came another relationship, this time with a man ten years older. He was local, kind, and in many ways, it was good. But still, I hadn’t paused long enough to let myself breathe deeply as just me.

These weren’t mistakes. They were chapters. And they taught me what only living can teach: resilience doesn’t always look like standing strong in the storm. Sometimes it looks like stumbling forward, trying again, and realizing only in hindsight what your soul was asking for.

What I Would Tell Someone Else

If someone asked me today, I’d say: take time to be you. Take time to feel what it’s like to stand on your own two feet, not leaning on someone else’s shadow.

But here’s the truth you can’t tell someone how to walk their path. Just like no one could have told me. We only learn it by living it. And that’s part of resilience too: giving yourself grace for the choices you made with the knowledge you had at the time.

Carrying Love in a New Way

There is a phrase that has carried me through my journey and continues to shape the way I see life after loss:

“Carrying Love in a New Way.” -Claudette Eames

I believe every Widow to Wellness story needs this reminder. Because love doesn’t end. It transforms. It becomes something you carry differently in your heart, in your memories, in your choices, in the way you show up for yourself and others.

I am still Jesse’s widow. That will always be part of who I am. Even if I had remained with someone else, that truth wouldn’t change. Being widowed isn’t erased by another relationship; it is woven into the fabric of who you are.

But what I’ve learned is that resilience gives you the permission to carry love forward without being stuck in the past. Love doesn’t vanish, it shifts. And we carry it in a new way.

Trusting the Path

At some point, I realized something important: there is a path laid before us. Even when it feels invisible, even when it feels unfair, even when it feels lonely.

When I finally stopped resisting and started trusting that path, life began to open up in new ways.

That’s when resilience began to feel like a gift. Not a burden. Not something I had to “muscle through.” But a gift that lets me honor the past, embrace the present, and believe in the future.

Moving south wasn’t about escaping. It was about stepping into the life that was waiting for me. And in choosing that, I discovered a freedom I hadn’t known before.

Resilience Is Not Regret

I don’t live with regrets. Truly, I don’t. Each relationship, each step, each choice they were part of the journey that led me here. They weren’t wasted. They shaped me.

Resilience means being able to look back without shame. To see the younger version of yourself with compassion, not criticism. To bless the path you’ve walked and step forward with gratitude.

Living Resiliently Today

Today, resilience looks different for me than it did years ago. It’s not about rushing into the next thing or proving I’m “okay.”

Resilience today looks like…

• Waking up content in my own skin.
  
  

• Laughing with my daughter and grandson, the 3Cs who keep me grounded in joy.
  
  

• Choosing wellness, calm, and growth as my daily rhythm.
  
  

• Trusting that the path ahead will unfold, just as it always has.
  
  

I am happy. I am blessed. And I am still learning every day.

Closing Reflection

If you’re reading this in the middle of your own storm, I want to remind you: resilience is not about never falling. It’s about rising again, even if it takes time.

Your choices don’t have to be perfect to be purposeful. Your path doesn’t have to be clear to be trusted.

And through it all, you carry love not in the same way as before, but in a new way.

“Carrying Love in a New Way.” — Claudette Eames

That, to me, is the greatest gift resilience offers.

If you’re in a season of learning resilience, I want you to know you don’t have to walk it alone. Sometimes the bravest step is simply sharing your story out loud.

That’s why I offer private Mentorship - Clarity Calls a gentle space where you can pause, breathe, and explore what resilience looks like for you.

Request a Mentorship Session → Click Here

In support,
Claudette Eames 🌻
Entrepreneur, Mentor, and Certified Mental Wellness Coach