Widow to Wellness: Permission to Dream Again

Widow to Wellness: Permission to Dream Again

Dreaming was never really part of my vocabulary.

Growing up as one of twelve children, my role was clear: help, care, and carry. I was like a second mother, especially to my baby sister. I learned early that life was about responsibility, not possibility. By the time I became a wife and mother, that rhythm was familiar pour yourself into the people you love, keep things moving, and don’t stop long enough to ask what you want.

And honestly, I didn’t. Jesse and I built our life together one season at a time. We raised our children, kept food on the table, and did the best we could. For me, that meant running my own painting business for more than 25 years. I had started out working with my dad in the mid-90s, stepping in as he moved toward retirement, and eventually it became my work, my livelihood. Jesse supported me fully, but the business was mine to carry. We didn’t make any big plans or chase after faraway adventures most of our trips were by car, close to home, often just weekend getaways. That was our rhythm. No big dreams. Just day by day, living within the circle around us.

But somewhere inside me, little whispers remained. When I was a young girl, I had a recurring dream of flying like an angel arms outstretched, free and safe. In my twenties, I once saw a glowing young girl on a rural road, lit from within as if she carried her own light. Those moments touched me deeply, even if I didn’t understand them at the time. Looking back, I think they were small reminders that I was meant for more than just surviving.

Then everything changed.

When Jesse died, my world cracked wide open. Grief doesn’t just break your heart it rearranges who you are. For a long time, I couldn’t even think about tomorrow, let alone about dreams. I was focused on just breathing, getting through each day, and holding my family together.

But healing has its own seasons. Slowly, I began to notice the shift. I realized that wellness wasn’t only about physical health or even emotional survival. True wellness meant giving myself permission to live again. To imagine a future. To hope. To dream.

That realization didn’t come overnight. It came through small acts of courage showing up for myself, tending to my health, finding my rhythm, and building something new after loss. It came in moments of quiet, often out in nature, where I could hear that inner voice again. And it came in the form of one surprising symbol: hot air balloons.

I’ve always been drawn to them. Their colors, their steady rise, the way they drift free above the ground it stirs something deep in me. A few years ago, I had the chance to be tethered in one. Just a few feet off the ground, but I felt the thrill, the lift, the promise of what it would be like to go higher. One of my dreams now, as I continue to rebuild my life and business, is to take a full flight. For me, that balloon isn’t just about adventure. It’s a declaration: I am untethered. I am free to rise.

That’s what permission to dream again looks like for me.

Maybe your dream doesn’t look like mine. Maybe it’s writing a book, starting a garden, traveling somewhere new, or simply carving out time for yourself in a way you never allowed before. The shape of the dream doesn’t matter. What matters is giving yourself the courage to say yes to it.

And here’s the truth: dreams aren’t reserved for the young. They aren’t only for those who have it all figured out. Dreams belong to anyone who’s willing to believe again. They belong to women like us women who’ve weathered heartbreak, carried heavy loads, and still dare to whisper what if?

Permission to dream again is part of wellness. It’s as vital as rest, nourishment, and movement. Because dreaming keeps the soul alive.

I’m not finished becoming. Neither are you.

So yes, I am giving myself permission to dream again. To imagine more. To lift higher. To untether myself from the weight of “what was” and step into “what could be.”

Watch out world because here I come.

This story is part of Rooted & Rising. Read more reflections here.

In support,
Claudette Paulin Eames 🌻
Entrepreneur, Mentor, and Certified Mental Wellness Coach